saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
