We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
