you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
