Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
