We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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