So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
