dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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