Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Randomize
