sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize