I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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