Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize