I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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