Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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