blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
