Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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