i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There are leaves in my underwear?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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