Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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