margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
