just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
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