I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
