a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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