How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
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after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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