come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
