Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
