She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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