Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
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