Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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