u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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