i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
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