i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
