left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
