my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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