god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
