my mouth tastes like poor choices
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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