saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
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I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.