If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
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Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
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holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
whose parrot is this?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.