So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?