We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
