I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
