If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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