don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
