so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
