He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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