Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
