Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
