You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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