1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
