oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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