reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
