you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize