So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
