yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
