I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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