i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
