What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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