Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is an emotional support booty call
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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