with your own penis?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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