Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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