Define "chronic" masturbator.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
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