Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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