just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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