Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
he had hair everywhere except his balls
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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