Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
